2015 was supposed to be the year for this blog - finishing university was supposed to mean that I would have all of the time and inspiration in the world to make this blog blossom into something that I've dreamt about since the day my first post went live four and a half years ago. However, I don't think people tell you just how hard it is once you finish the education stage of your life; sure, I knew that finding a job would be difficult, but I definitely was not prepared for the psychological effects that being marked as 'unemployed' would come with. I know, poor me and my lack of employment. When you're writing up your dissertation or struggling through your final exams, an endless summer is all you dream of; no early alarms, guilt-free Netflix marathons, hours upon hours of free time to waste in whichever way you please. Despite this, every day that ticks by signifies a fresh sense of failure and resentment for me because I keep promising new things - exciting series, inspired content - but I keep failing to deliver. I quite literally have twenty-four hours a day to spend on this blog if I so wish at the moment, but what has this resulted in? For me, I seem to have been reduced to a pajama-wearing lazy bugger without even an ounce of motivation or passion to do anything. I don't really feel like I care that strongly about anything anymore; I have no real purpose and have resulted to simply drifting through life without actually achieving anything of significance. I think that focusing too much on my own projects exacerbates that feeling as well - when I look at my blog all I see is a neglected space with so much potential yet no one to care and nurture it, but I'm sure that others don't see that as mine is one of the hundreds of blogs they might scroll through on a weekly basis, so a lack of content and attention isn't as glaringly obvious. 

Luckily, things have finally started to go my way, and as of Monday I'll officially be a working girl (well an intern, but you get the drift.) Yesterday I got offered an internship at a PR and communications firm in London that specialises in accessories, fashion and luxury goods. I'll be focusing on social media for various clients which is really exciting because it's something I've been lucky enough to learn quite a bit about during my time blogging, so hopefully some of my skills will come in handy! I'm so ready to be busy again - my brain needs some serious stimulation which will hopefully kickstart other areas of my life - and hopefully my love for blogging.

I'm so sick of writing these kinds of posts every few months. I'm hoping that once I'm busy again my mind will start working and my creativity will flow out at an unstoppable rate. However, if I'm sitting here in another 3 months pondering the future of my blog, then perhaps it'll be time to reevaluate my online career and take a step back for a while. 

I x

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